Getting Hare.

I offered someone a lift, and approaching the car I said ' I hope you don't mind, it might be hairy' He looked worried. I realised he didn't know I was referring to dog hair but instead thought I was a reckless driver. Very funny.

This draws a  great comparison . The hare and associations with fear. Running scared. or caught in the head lights.

When I look into my energetic body I can feel a lot of movement. Speed. There is energy running for sure. I ponder the difference between, fear, excitement, and high energy. These experiences often blur into each other. They are fast, they become a blur.

I think about the Hare. How animals release fear and trauma by shaking it off. Check it out. Animals shake stuff off a lot. 

Humans on the other hand often suppress the emotional responses and store them inside. 'I will deal with it later - right now it's not safe to show how I really feel.' 'Shit maybe its not even safe to 'feel' how I really feel'. 

I look inside my energy body. And I feel that which I have stored for later. I see how I froze like a rabbit in the headlights. Lumps and bumps of stuck energies. Not very funny. A hazardous road for sure.

This freezing up, this human taught suppression,  is in direct opposition with the highly charged movement of fear or trauma or even excitement. 

If I brace myself against it, I shall  create a 'fight'. A fight inside of self.

Stuck in opposition. Unable to move. Worse still. So afraid - Unable to feel. Disconnected from self. Unsure of the way forwards or back.

 And it's the dissonance of this situation that shakes inside , not so much fear itself.

The fear of fear. Frozen in vibration. Shaking but still.. Disconnected from how I feel, and how to feel. Floored. Trapped. Cornered.

 Dissonance is heavily stressing for all  human beings.

The Hare teaches 'Flight'. As I work with the hare I am encouraged to move faster. To catch up with myself. To run with the fear. The hare chases the fear out of me. I am not running away. I am alongside. Bounding. Accelerating. Creating a spring in my step. Instead of being afraid or ashamed of fear. The Hare runs alongside it.

I think of how athletes or actors prepare to perform.. they move..they make noise..They make ready. They make ready to step into the adrenaline.

I look into my energy body. I see how I'm shifting in vibration to catch up with held fear...It moves and I move. I work here. I step into. I leap into it.  I work with. I do not try to be rid of. I work with. I come into a relationship with what shakes, with what blurs, With the speed inside. 

Eventually I slow down, or does it slow down?  - I feel my energy settle, I settle. Has the fear been released or integrated? I do not know. 

But it is still and I am still.. I have caught up with myself. Thanks to the wisdom of the hare. 

Today the hare taught me to get moving. 

To face self - to know self.

To RUN energy to meet self.

To catch self - and calm self.

Now I am Hare. (sorry!) 

And for Now I am free of the burden of fear. ( woo hoo!! boing!) 

The seahorse and the sacrum

Undulation.
Fluidity. The healing of flow.
Feeling point and counter point.
Rocking gently between polarities - rocking horse.
Becoming aware of the opposing centres- top to bottom, and bottom to top.
One must feed the other.
Male and female. Suppress one - suppress both. The inequality is illusory. One must feed the other. Or both will suffer. Male and female - each giving role and vitality to the other. One must feed the other.
Finding balance between both. Both. Balance.
Tail supports head.
Head drops down to tail and rests.
All triangles balance.
Into potential beautiful geometry of opposition. - Sri Yantra.
Trust that it could come.
Let go, and drop the sacrum -like an anchor bone sinking deep, deep down.
Gentle Coaxing.
Rock a bye
Seahorse. Rest.

Air Self

'The invisible essential.'

Tune into your subtle self. Your air self.

The air about you this is perceptible yet intangible. You have an 'Air', That is perceptible yet intangible.

Air is simple to the point of not noticeable. Yet crucial. Perhaps you feel invisible, Please Remember you are vital.

 Air is complex, composed of a careful formula of gases and particles. You are complex, composed of a careful formula of body, mind, heart and soul.

Air can hold the awesome power of water. Becoming cloud.
You are the holder of emotional power and experience. You are like a cloud - with the potential to create havoc or nurture life.

Air seems light but can create pressure.  Sometimes in all of us,  the smallest things, create the biggest tensions. Sometimes the smallest gesture can generate the biggest ripples.

Air can insulate and regulate temperature. Your Air self - the subtle self- surrounds you, and takes care of you.

There are invisible dimensions of the self that are essential.  Tune in and give gratitude to the Air self.

Absorbing Self.

Art by Eleanor Carter

'Receptivity'

We can only absorb that which we have room for.
In order to receive we have to learn to profoundly 'let go'.
Drop into your breath. Breathe in. Breathe in again. and Breathe in.
We can only take on so much. Eventually nature dictates that we must 'let go'.
We must exhale fully before a deep inhalation becomes possible.
We decode, to re code. We fall asleep, to Wake up.
The more we 'let go' The more spacious we become. The more we can absorb.
As we surrender all expectations from the mind. The body wisdom is able to receive and absorb that which it needs. Whatever it is, 'let it go' even if only for a moment. Allow something new to come into you.
We can be 'self absorbed' in an unhealthy way - we hold ourselves so high that nothing can come into us. Breathing ourselves in and puffing ourselves up - until it feels we may pop.
Or we can absorb the self. Embracing the truth of the self, good and bad. Only seeing it , so we can liberate it. Breathing in our truth. Then letting it go.
When we practice this - one day we will yield so deeply, that on the next inhale - the universe floods into us.

Apprentice self.

'In learning'

Don't we just love our teachers. Those souls that really help us grow. Those who help is see something that we may have been blind to. Those who evolve us. Those who empower us. Those who share willingly - just because they see our potential to receive.
The apprentice self - loves.
loves the subject. loves the learning. loves the teacher. Loves the resonance. Understands that, which is in truth with them.
The apprentice self is discerning enough to chose a teacher of integrity.
 A true and humble self.
The apprentice self is  wise enough to lay down the ego, and listen to the teaching.
Dedicated and diligent. 'In learning' and contented with that.

Alchemist self.

'Change maker'

You are the alchemist. You have the ability to turn base metals into gold.

Think of this next time you cook. This wonderful alchemy. If cooking isn't your thing, maybe see the transformation that happens between waking and leaving the house.
Showering, clean clothes and a good breakfast can be an incredible alchemy.
look at a blank notebook and some pencils. Observe the gold you actualise, as you draw out your creativity.
Build a fire, feel the stages of transformation - the unlit wood and paper - to the heat of the flames - to the warm smouldering ashes.
Alchemy is everywhere.
You are the alchemist when you greet another warmly, in every gesture of kindness, in every interaction. You have the ability to turn one state into another.
Your emotions are a doorway into alchemical change. suppress them and see what happens - illness tension tightness.
Let them flow, in conscious compassionate awareness, and you will heal. You will strengthen.
Disrespect your body and eventually it will weaken.
Give your body what it needs - good food, exercise, appreciation and it will balance itself and renew.

How do you work with alchemy? 

 You can create change. You can create gold.
Because You are the Alchemist.

Antagonist self.

'Villains'

Sometimes we all play the bad guy.
The cat among the pigeons.
Sometimes the base emotions push us forward.
When we are angry, we get off our backsides at least. When we are greedy - we go out and get. When we are jealous we push ourselves to be better.
Sometimes its good to be bad. To say ' screw that' and keep going.
Sometimes its bad to be good. We might live a whole lifetime trying not to upset - a life that is not self led, that is at the mercy of everyone and everything else. A half life.
The antagonist is the necessary driving force for heroism.  Difficult people can be a training in patience and tolerance. Awkward characters can encourage great flexibility in others.
When we do wrong we can take responsibility and learn from our mistakes. We all do bad things. We all have bad thoughts. We are all potential villains whilst at the same time being potential heroes.
The most dangerous antagonists deny the darkness inside. They believe they are saviours. They believe they are angels. They cant see what they are doing. They insist they are the good guy. They deny the antagonist self.
Its good to see the antagonist from time to time. Its balanced. the antagonist self, is a naughty child. Hold it close, don't push it away and it will calm down. 

Angelic self.

Art by Eleanor Carter

'Take flight'

Visualise light. Pure, Radiant, luminous.
Drop into the heart untarnished. Strong Sure and without fear.
A heart that beats to be righteous and kind.
Close your eyes and really feel this quality of light. Inside you and around you. Feel yourself cradled in light feathered wings. Angelic embrace. Seraphim. Cherubim. Choirs of brightness. Echos of brilliance. Multitudes of Love, stretching into Eternity. Vast Angelic kingdoms. Uncountable numbers.
Call upon an angel or You as an angel. Bring Your angel through, in any way you can.
Allow that sacred support and spread your wings. Let your angelic self uplift you.

Abundant self

Art By Eleanor Carter

'giving river'

Sometimes we feel and see only lack.
Exhausting.
 During these times we are being asked to trust there is abundance. Inexhaustible abundance. Abundance of ideas or solutions. Abundance of potential, and resources. Abundance of love and endless kindnesses.
When we reawaken to the abundance there is such joy.
Joy in saying ' here, have this, there is enough.'
That feeling of endless abundance, expands the self.
We are filled by the world, and full of ourselves. We overflow and become a plentiful river .
This river floods into any perceived lack. It fills the voids within the self that were once unsatisfied, cynical and disappointed.
Once we begin to notice and know it is running, the river of abundance cascades, growing ever wider. So be abundant. There is more than enough for us all. We are more than enough for each other.
Burst the banks, Be the giving river. Enjoy the ride.

Ancestral self

Art By Eleanor Carter

'succession'

For a moment, lean back into yourself.
And irregardless of loving or judging, lean back into your parents.
Your grandparents. Your great grandparents.
Keep going back and back, feel into your ancestry.
No matter if you know them, or know of them.
No matter if you like them, or not.
Realise you are here now, because of them. Whoever they were - they were here - so can be here now.
You are the both the memory and future of them.
They are invested in you.
Lean back and ask for their help. They are all behind you. You are not alone.

buffalo magic

Buffalo Magic.

Synonymous with the buffalo are the first Americans . I can hardly separate the two. For me, one conjures up an image of the other. 

I recall reading about  'give-away' and being touched by this. A medicine man described how it was not in the accumulation of things that a man was considered honourable or wealthy. Rather it was shown by what he gave away. What a person could give, instead of how much one had.  This makes me feel warm inside.

I think about how we give. 
Do we make a song and dance? 

Is the song and dance honouring of the other, deeply personal, private, sacred, or ceremonial in nature?  
Or does it magnify the identity and ego, making us 'ever such kind people'  'giving at our own expense' ' martyrs for the cause'  and 'Oh so spiritual ?'

How do we sing? How do we dance? Is it kind? Is it noble? Is it real? 

I think about the buffalo.   

This magnificent animal, 'all of our relatives', Gave so much to the lives of these indigenous peoples.
Food, Warmth, shelter, life. He gave all this steadily. Without fuss. Without advertisement. He carried the burden/honour  of being ' Buffalo ' with longevity, and such quiet dignity. With the greatest integrity. And his people respected him for this. Such a powerful precious creature.

The buffalo perhaps understood the 'give away' better than I could ever hope to. 

I pray that I am able to give better. Remembering, Its not just what I give, but how I give, and why I give that counts.